Anxiously Engaged

I have to make a few comments about this past week. I competed in Ironman St. George a couple weeks ago. It was my first full Ironman since Kona in 2007. Some are saying that IM St. George has raised the bar for Ironman races around the world by being the hardest...even harder than Kona. I'm still not sure about that yet, but I will say that it was a dang hard course. Tons of climbing, and strong headwinds. Fortunately, the weather was largely in our favor. They had been predicting rain for race day, but the weather gods were smiling upon us as race day dawned clear and calm. Just a few comments about the race: The swim was COLD, but that didn't stop me from posting my best swim split ever - 1:06. The bike was extremely HARD, but that didn't keep me from finishing with a respectable time of 6:23. I had never been more eager to get off the bike and run a marathon. My marathon time wasn't great, but I still posted a time under 5 hours and beat my best Ironman time ever - 12:36:43. For my 3rd Ironman, it was probably one of the most empowering things I have ever done. There will definitely be many more. It was so nice to have my family there for support. My Grandma made a special trip down, and it was so so nice to have her there. I can't express the feelings of love I have in my heart for my family and their amazing support.


6 days later, I graduated from the University of Utah with a Masters in Business Administration. Definitely one of the most empowering days of my life. Once again, my family was there. My dad and brothers drove through the night and spent the bulk of the following day at graduation festivities. I was so happy to have them there. This has been quite a week!

Photo Courtesy of Deseret News

Now, I'm sitting here a few days after finishing my best Ironman ever and earning my MBA degree and wondering what's next. Ah, there will always be more adventures to pursue, my friends! Much love.

TARP - a few random thoughts 18 months later

Yes, in some cases, it's better to let the free market be the free market, and sometimes markets fail. Let's just assume that they didn't pass TARP. What would have happened? Yes, there may have been a major collapse of the large investment banks, and yes, there may have been a lot of pain...in the short term. We don't know how bad it would have been, however I don't think it would have been as bad as the so-called experts predicted. On the other hand, what message has the government sent to Wall Street with TARP and all the bailouts? The message is that excessively risky behavior is OK, and if we take on too much risk? No worry. The government will bail us out again. So where does it end? By bailing out the largest investment houses, the government has simply reinforced the bad behavior, and now there is no incentive to discontinue it. TARP did nothing but reinforce the excessive risk taking....a problem that the government got us into in the first place with easy money from GSE's like FNMA and FDMC. TARP has only delayed a much greater collapse down the road. A collapse that will be infinitely greater because "Helicopter Ben" seems to think that printing money to increase the FED's balance sheet is just fine as long as there is short term liquidity in the market. In my opinion, inflated currency and China owning our debt is a much worse long term scenario.

The current financial reform legislation in congress is also going to ensure large companies that are "too big to fail" will continue to receive bailouts indefinitely. Again, reinforcing risky behavior and making private enterprise too heavily dependent upon the government. Something the founding fathers, especially Thomas Jefferson railed against.

After TARP passed, I remember hearing Bush say that he had to "abandon free market principles to save the free market". Totally incredible, and a complete load of crap in my opinion....

To be fair, I will say that Paulson's idea (TARP) was much better than Geithner's (buying preferred stock in the large investment banks). I hate the idea of the government owning majority interest in private corporations. Buying the illiquid assets due to the market failure was a better idea, and much more "market friendly" than the preferred stock route, which is what we eventually did with most of the TARP funds. Now what is the current administration doing? They're criticizing banks for tightening their lending standards, even though the loose lending practices are what got us into this problem in the first place.

There are a lot of really good resources on this, but for simplicity, I've pasted 2 NPR reports here. They give a relatively succinct and unbiased explanation of what caused the whole thing. Each episode is an hour long. Definitely worth the time, though.

Click on "stream episode".

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/355/the-giant-pool-of-money

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/365/Another-Frightening-Show-About-the-Economy

There is a way to be good again.

It has been on my mind a lot. I've been thinking a lot about restitution and redemption. I have decided to write down a few of my thoughts.

In the book "The Kite Runner", the main character, Amir witnesses the rape of his faithful childhood friend, Hassan. (Hassan and his father, Ali, are servants in the house of Amir's father.) After the rape, Amir is racked with guilt for not having done anything to save Hassan from being assaulted despite Hassan's "guileless devotion" to Amir. Amir eventually can't handle the pain, so he lies and tells his father that Hassan stole his new watch. Ali and Hassan must leave and Amir never sees them again. The Soviets invade Afghanistan in 1979, and Amir and his father flee to America where Amir marries and becomes a successful writer. After his father's death, Amir receives an unexpected call from his father's former Afghan business partner, Rahim Khan, asking him to come to Pakistan because "there is a way to be good again."


It is this phrase, "there is a way to be good again", which has caused me to experience a myriad of poignant thoughts and emotions recently.

Amir makes the journey to Pakistan and meets Rahim Khan where he learns that Hassan is dead and his son, Sohrab is in an orphanage in Afghanistan. Rahim Khan also reveals to Amir that he is actually Hassan's half brother. Amir's father slept with Ali's wife, and she bore him a son they named Hassan - a secret Amir's father took to the grave. And now, Rahim Khan tells Amir that there is a way to be good again. A way to make restitution for his father's sin and for Amir's cruelty to Hassan when they were children. At this meeting, Rahim Khan gives Amir a letter which was written by Hassan before he was killed by the Taliban.

"In the name of God the merciful, the compassionate. Amir Agha with my deepest respects.

My wife and son and I pray this letter finds you in fine health and in the light of God’s good graces. I’m hopeful that one day I will hold one of your letters in my hands and read of your life in America. I’m trying to learn English. It’s such a tricky language, but on day, Agha. I miss your stories. I’ve included a picture of me and my son, Sohrab. He’s a good boy. Rahim Khan and I taught him how to read and write so he doesn’t grow up stupid like his father. And can he shoot with that sling shot you gave me! But I fear for him, Amir. The Afghanistan of our youth is long dead. Kindness is gone from the land, and you cannot escape the killings. Always the killings. I dream that God will guide us to a better day. I dream that my son will grow up to be a good person, a free person, an important person. I dream that flowers will bloom in the streets of Kabul again and music will play in the samovar houses and kites will fly in the skies. And I dream that someday you will return to Kabul to revisit the land of our childhood. If you do, you’ll find an old faithful friend waiting for you. May God be with you always.
Hassan."


Now Amir has a chance to find the restitution and redemption he's been seeking since he was a child. A way to make right so many wrongs which have plagued his soul for so many years. He must go into Afghanistan and rescue Sohrab from the brutal Taliban.

I believe in restitution and redemption. I believe that there IS a way to be good again, and that nothing has to be final. As a Christian, I believe that restitution and redemption can only come in and through the Savior Jesus Christ. He can make everything good again. Only HE can put away the old and make all things new again. Whether it be a convict who has spent 19 years in hard labor for stealing a loaf of bread or a young Afghan whose childhood friend died before he could make amends for past wrongs. There is ALWAYS a way to be good again through Christ.

"Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation"
-2 Corinthians 5:16-18


This is the final scene of the movie "The Kite Runner" in which Amir has returned from Afghanistan with Hassan's son, Sohrab. Beautiful reconciliation.